In the ordinary events of life, I didn’t know my mind had the amazing ability to protect me. That understanding came to me during my healing journey from childhood sexual abuse. And it brought a conflict.
I moved through motherhood not knowing parts of my youth were carefully held in my unconscious, completely out of my reach to recall. When the memories of my past began showing up in my days, I didn’t know if they were my enemy… or my savior.
Each memory turned my very average life upside-down and inside-out. It might leak out over several weeks, kidnapping my routines one-by-one, until I could pull all the revelations together and comprehend an event from the past. Or the memory could rip me out of a sound sleep as an ordinary dream twisted into an experience from my childhood. Either way, my emerging trauma memory felt like a thief, stealing time out of my days and robbing my capacity to take charge of my life.