Healing from our childhood sexual abuse calls to us from a old gate on the side of the road we’ve been traveling. The path on the other side of gate is overgrown with memories we’ve dissociated or tried to ignore. The unmapped landscape beyond is heavy with stormy weather. Hope urges us to lift the latch and step toward the promise of understanding, release, and new possibilities.
The question that comes up as we open the gate is: how long will this take?
This is a valid question. It acknowledges the uncertainties of such a journey. It recognizes our new focus and intention will transform our days. This question admits our healing will pull other people into the dark mystery that has kidnapped our lives.
When I chose to heal, I was hungry for an answer about how long I would be wrapped around such a deep, very personal, confusing issue. Not finding an answer from others, I decided I could do anything for three months. Thinking I couldn’t possibly manage more than that, I was willing to ask my family, friends, and my Self to let go of ‘what was’ for ‘what could be’ for twelve weeks. In a maze of turmoil and trust, I gave myself a destination.
It took much longer but, after three months, time no longer mattered. My journey unfolded in spirit-miles as I found answers that let me release how I managed my life and relationships and discovered how to blow on the bubbles of a joyful life.
Healing is never over, but there comes a time when it is just an occasional summer storm that you welcome because it nurtures what you're planting. The desire to know ‘how long it will take’ slips away because you realize you aren’t taking a detour that will lead back to the familiar path you traveled for so many years. When you go through the gate, you are heading in a new direction where gifts and treasures will be found along the way, where healing is another word for embracing your potential for happiness.
Notes along the way… Jeanne McElvaney
Inspired bySpirit Unbroken: Abby's Story
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